Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Friendship

says the Hallmark cards, doubles our joy and divides our grief. Really?

Since this is my blog, it concentrates on me and my interest and my responses, etc. I have chronicled parts of my relationship with B here. In the last months, with its limits all too clear, what has mostly shown up is my own sense of loss. But there are two men going through this, not one, each in our own way, but each one much affected by the change. If we hated each other, it would be simpler. Breaking up would be a relief. But the truth is that we both loved each other. And still do. I can say for me and I think it's true for him, in quite unique and even unprecedented ways for us. We've both got criticism and grievances about each other and at times they could be pretty raw. But when they cool down, what you have are two grieving men who are each prisoners of their own hearts.


4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hallmark is right that Friendship doubles our joy and divides our grief. Your complaint is against Eros. ...

What do you expect from Hallmark? greeting cards that say on the front: "The pre-Homeric Greeks were wrong to deem Eros one of the winged spites along with Strife, Deceit, Old Age, and Death!", and then inside: "Eros brings us to the broad sunlit uplands of ongoing peace and contentment! Happy easy-going Valentine's Day!"

OreamnosAmericanus said...

Brisk reframe.

Anonymous said...

... I guess my anxiety-driven cathexis failure makes me immune to the ker Eros, but anxiety is a terrible winged spite too, maybe worse and without any elevational or sublimational pay-off. I can't see how the pre-Homeric Greeks didn't include Anxiety among the keres.

OreamnosAmericanus said...

Good point.

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